Ugly Week

I'm mad because I didn't get started on my episode of Ugly Fools earlier this week and now I have nothing to work with. I had held off until Saturday, but that didn't work out. I hate going places on Saturday it screws up everything. I had fun, which makes me mad stupid with a sweet does of inconsistancy. I wanted to write but I had so much fun that I didn't get home until I was ready to sleep. That didn't happen, though. My mind slept while I vegged out on a bit of TV and my addiction to documentaries on Netflix.

I didn't have time to write during the week. Maybe my issue is that I don't just do what I tell others to do, which is to set a timer and write every single day. I suck at stuff like scheduling. I'm also not great at being on time. I find things to do as I'm getting ready and they're all important things I need to do at that moment.

Ugly Fools won't be updated tonight. Along the lines of Ugly Fools I need to decide if I'm going to do all 9 in an episode or do the entire three character an episode until the fourth in the series of episodes and that one will have all 9. I sort of like that idea.

Nine characters presents its own kind of problem and that is 9 different personalities. I have to keep them straight and not confuse them. That's one reason why I decided to do this. It's another exercise for me to work on. I'll be creating an Ugly Fools Bible so that I can keep up with everything I writing.

It makes me sad when I don't get to write every single day. It makes me feel like a full person to write. Again, I'll have to do that timer thing. Even if (as I tell others) it's just for five minutes. I'm fearful of how long I'd go. I was never good with timers when my brothers and I used one to dictate when our turn was up when we played video games. None of us were. We always wanted to go a few more seconds. Which turned into minutes and then tattletaling. Good times.

As for Jeremiah Jericho: Forty Two, I'm really close to finishing the first draft. I did what I wanted with the section of writing last week, but I went a little overboard on the narration. I have to find a happy medium. I have plans to take Shawn and move him to the first book more.

The thing is, the more I write this second book the more I see what I need to have in the first and what I could possibly remove.

I had enough brain power to write this, but not enough to focus on Ugly Fools. Sad, but true.

What I Gotta Work On

It's been hinted at that my narrative needs to be a little stronger. I didn't really grasp what that meant until Wednesday night at my writing group. Which was more like a writing trio than group. Whatever.

Jeremiah (my main character) has to give more input on the situations he's in. I grasped that in first person the character needs to be more involved. In my head I over complicated it because of there being two additional voices that he contends with for inner thoughts. When he actually thinks in present moment for the story there is a great chance that Christopher or Jeffrey will respond. I can't have him think normally like any other first person character could get away with in their story. 

It can't be: 

I can't believe this is happening. 

Because in reality it would be ( < > = Christopher talking and + + = Jeffrey talking and without either is Jeremiah...as shown above)

I can't believe this is happening. 

<Shocking that you can't see past the problems you've created.>

+You can mend this. Hear the waves and think.+

And then a conversation would continue with Jeremiah addressing the positive spin of Jeffrey or the in-your-face reality of Christopher. 

I've avoided him giving comments that can't be turned into conversation because ignoring isn't something Christopher is capable of doing without purpose. 

On Wednesday it was just pointed out again. Nothing new, it just hit me what I need to do. What I need to work on. It was an oh, I see! kind of moment. I don't know why it took this long to grasp this, but it did. Jeremiah has to filter (and he does already, but not enough) the story through his idea of what's going on. Yes, Christopher is keeping him in the dark and he doesn't understand why. I have to give him the floor to predict either correctly or wrongly what's going to happen so that he can either fool or hint at what is going to come to pass by the end of the book. 

I finished the first book and I'm about twenty pages from finishing the second book...this is something that when I read back over what I've written I can add it in. It didn't click and it did that day, so I'm glad I went. I was wondering why I bothered going since not many people were there, but it worked out this time. 

I'm watched "Soul Eater"  yesterday and for the past few episodes Death the Kid and Maka have been questioning what the Academy was doing. They questioned it with their thoughts and their actions. They colored the viewer's view of what was going on with their doubt. I'm a story teller so I knew what their characters were up to, but still it is a way to get the viewer to feel the character's problem with what's going on and give the viewer an idea of what the character thinks is going to happen. In all my story weaving I have been failing on this with Jeremiah. I have to strengthen that. And once I do, I will feel way better about how I'm telling the story than I do at this moment. 

With Ugly Fools I'm able to do that with ease. I can give the view of the character and their expectations and allow those things to taint the narration for better or for worse. It's easier to do so with only one voice in the head. I can do it and I have done it. It's another thing I have to contend with writing Jeremiah Jericho. It's so heavy and as I'm writing Ugly Fools I realize how thick Jeremiah Jericho is. It's fun, but it so complicated to maneuver. 

I know my ending for each book of the Trilogy. Jeremiah doesn't know those endings. Christopher could very well know. It's Jeremiah telling the story. With each revelation of what's going on it should cause him to speculate what's happening and in essence help the reader understand what's going on. 

I have to make it where Jeremiah is talking more to the reader. Not breaking the fourth wall (though I don't have a problem with that) but breaking free of Christopher and Jeffrey who will cause him to have tangentidious. 

It's really great to have these kinds of moments. When one hears that a book took so many years to write, they wonder why? Or if they could even bare that length of time. Right now Jeremiah Jericho has taken three years to write, including edits. Which I'm not done with edits. I think back to when I first finished the first edition of Jeremiah Jericho: Allowance and how proud I was and how it just HAD to be picked up by someone. I hadn't sent it out to anyone, I just knew it was great as is. Several edits later and after sending it to five agents and it being rejected four times (so far), I'm glad it wasn't ready that first time. I have so much to work on, to get right. What I've put into this is nothing short of epic and I can't just let it go and it fail so bad that it would never be picked up and read again. I have to get it right. 

It's like an invention that I know is life changing. But the battery power isn't working as well as it should, however when it does work it's amazing. I have to fix the glitches so that when it's released there is minor issues to contend with. Minor so much so that when someone complains about a plot hole somewhere I will go, "Oh you have no idea what a plot hole is." Because I'll be thinking of all the massive plot holes I fixed because of the many moons it took to make this trilogy astonishing. 

I understand that it'll never be perfect and I'm not aiming for perfect. I'm aiming for satisfied. I'm aiming for that feeling of accomplishment that will send shivers of wow down my spine when I think about the overall trilogy. I understand that I will leave something out or that there will be questions I don't fully answer, but as long as I can sit back and smile and feel fine when the complaints rings over the internet...I'd have accomplished what I wanted. I don't want to grumble and defend the book. I want the book to defend itself by how good it is despite the snags. I hate defending my writing. I don't really do that very often. Not everyone's going to like it and that's just how it is. 

As long as I like it despite the nitpicking, there will be nothing anyone can say that'll ruffle my feathers. 

I will work on my narrative and get that much closer to feeling satisfied.